Her four years are a mere fraction of the time Jason has
dedicated to New Rome –technically speaking, Jason has
already done his required ten years of service to the legion
and could just go and frolic through the streets of New Rome
if it so pleased him. But perhaps not, Jason had always been
the one with the bigger sense of duty –now whether that mindset
was his own, or if it was merely the consequence of heavy
expectation placed upon him…she knew it was the latter. The
information has been all but etched into her memory along with
the blaze of trusting blue. And yet, here she stood, preaching to
him about duty, when she knew no one who had sacrificed more.
Her lower lips worries between her teeth slightly, staring into those
blue eyes. There’s something different about them now —they’re
brighter, more like the summer sky, and less like the royal azure
before a storm. They’re familiar to her yes, how could they not be
–one look and the image was seared into her brain—yet they’re
utterly foreign to her at the same time. Jason’s evolved (into
something better?), and she’s still stuck back in the place where
they left off.
Eyes dart resist the urge to dart away from the blue orbs as his hands
find their way to her shoulders. He speaks in Latin, which in some ways
relieves her, lower lip no longer between her teeth. At least one thing is
still the same.
“This is what you want, Jason? Just to relive a few years
like the last one never happened?”
Her eyes flutter shut briefly as she struggles to keep her face blank.
Because she wants to say yes. The word is there, clawing desperately
from her throat and poised to jump from her tongue. She wants to say
yes even if it only ends in the demolition of her last hope that things will
be even just a mere echo of what they were. She wants to just, yes. Eyes
open again, piercing black captivating blue. He’s the bright summer sky
just as she’s a black hole, endlessly trying to devour his sunshine.
“Yes.” It was just a simple word, but full of strength and determination behind it. He knew what he wanted, knew that this was the path that he wanted to take. Many more of his statements had become like that one. He’d been able to be sure about what he wanted and sure about himself. Failure, though still not his favorite thing, was finally an option for him, and he didn’t have to worry about being perfect. He could live his life as Jason, not the golden boy of Rome, not Juno’s champion, just regular old Jason.
And that’s the biggest reason why he knew he couldn’t go back. He couldn’t go back to the boy that was afraid of letting someone down, afraid of not being good enough to live up to the expectations placed on him. He couldn’t go back to the Jason that followed orders and though wanted to change things, knew that so long as he lived the way he was could never move beyond the scope of tradition. He still knew his place and his duty, but he also knew that there was so much more to him than just that.
Jason just hoped that Reyna could also learn to like it, like him, too.
He continued to gaze at her, trying desperately to find any hint as to what she was thinking. Her dark eyes hid what she thought so easily, yet he could see something. A light, a spark, something that gave him hope. Maybe she wouldn’t turn away from him, and with that he gives her another small squeeze, a gentle smile on his face and small amounts of static flowing off of him. “I want this.”